Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Emulator ZX Spectrum

Fajny emulator ZX Spectrum na maka można ściągnąć z adresu http://ifile.pl/gry/zxsp-071. Polecam :)

Jak pijemy

Anorektyk - nie zagryza
Bankowiec - pije na raty
Egzorcysta - pije duszkiem
Grabarz - pije na umór
Higienistka - pije tylko czystą
Ichtiolog - pije pod śledzika
Kamerzysta - pije,aż mu się film urwie
Ksiądz - pije na amen
Laborant - pije, aż zobaczy białe myszki
Lekarz - pije na zdrowie!
Matematyk - pije na potęgę
Ornitolog - pije na sępa
Pediatra - po maluchu!
Perfekcjonista -raz, a dobrze
Pilot - nawala się jak Messerschmitt
Syndyk - pije do upadłego
Tenisista - pije setami
Wampir - daje w szyję
Wędkarz - zalewa robaka
Członkini Koła Gospodyń Wiejskich - pije, tańczy i haftuje

[nadesłała Ania]

Jak pójdę na emeryturę

- Jak pójdę na emeryturę, to nic nie będę robił, kompletnie nic. Pierwsze parę miesięcy posiedzę w bujanym fotelu...
- A potem?
- Potem się może rozhuśtam.

[nadesłał Patryk]

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD

[nadesłała Ania]

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were.
when they were growing up; what with walking twenty
five miles to school every morning

Uphill... barefoot...

BOTH ways


Yadda, yadda, yadda



And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to lay


a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had and
how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of
thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you
don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know

something, We had to go to the damn library and
look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter, with a pen!

Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!


Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter

of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our
ass! No where was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to
steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it
yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and
the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our
favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come
undone.'cause that's how we rolled, dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the
phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we
didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collection agent,
you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances,
mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your imagination!! And there we re no multiple levels
or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The
game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you
died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your
ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! There was no Cartoon
Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you
hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled
little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something
up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids
today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted
five minutes back in 1980 or before!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd